General Thanksgiving

The Prayer of General Thanksgiving on p 836 of the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer has strong theology, but its style is weak. The prayer uses the term “which” when “that” would flow better, and it misses opportunities to express power with parallel structure. I have attempted to address those issues with this rewrite. I have not changed the theology of the prayer at all.

Original appearing on p 836 of the BCP

Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have
done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole
creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,
and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for
the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best
efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy
and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures
that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the
truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast
obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying,
through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life
again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and
make him known; and through him, at all times and in all
places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.

Rewrite for style

O Lord, please accept our thanks and praise for all that you have done for us. We thank you for the splendor of creation, the beauty of this world, the wonder of life, and the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends and for the loving care that surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks that demand our best efforts and for leading us to accomplishments that satisfy and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast obedience, through which he overcame temptation; for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, through which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and make him known; that through him, at all times and in all places, we may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.

I have also attached a redline version showing line-by-line changes.

I welcome others to use this rewrite text; I would appreciate notice of how you are doing so, along with credit to me, Lee Borden,  in the product of your work. Thank you.